Relationships have always fascinated me. From ‘How to create them?’ to ‘Why they end?’ I have spent a lot of time on trying to learn the ins and outs. One thing that NEVER gets talked about is what I like to call ‘The power of proximity’. You never see it in the movies because it would destroy the whole “soul mate” illusion. I’m not trying to sound bitter nor do I have anything against love but proximity plays a HUGE importance in relationships ant it rarely if ever gets talked about and today I wish to discuss it.
Basically the power of proximity is how our physical location/distance affects relationships. It affects how they are created and how they end. Long distance relationships NEVER work. Proximity is the main reason why. If you are not physically close to someone or can spend time in the company of someone then obviously attraction will fade. No amount of internet chat or video calls can replace real life face-to-face, skin-to-skin contact.
I remember from my secondary school so many relationships were formed due to proximity. I remember thinking “WOW out of the other 500 million people(based on gender and age) on the planet your ‘soul mate’ just happened to be your class mate”. I remember at this age I became very cynical of love. It seemed so strange to me how many couples were created from secondary school. Perhaps my school was a twilight zone and was able to beat statistics like 1:500,000,000 for a dozen or so people.
In movies love is normally serendipitous. In real life it’s usually convenience that creates relationships be it through classmates, work, or friend of a friend. When you are in close proximity to someone bonds do form. If you see someone at work everyday emotional connections will develop.
Proximity also affects how often you see someone. If you live in the same town you can meet often and further strengthen your relationship. If however you live a couple of hours away cracks will begin to form in the relationship due to lack of physical contact and time spent with each other.
There is another aspect of proximity that I would like to touch on. As I discussed, and I’m sure you can think of many examples, many people from school or work create relationships together. These relationships, particularly from school or university fail and that is because they do not have a solid foundation. By this I mean the fundamental reason the couple got together was due to proximity and there was some mutual interest expressed.
As time goes on and these couples experience other aspects of life they realise that they don’t have a lot in common with their partner or ‘things have changed’. Imagine you tried vanilla ice cream and you loved it. It was the only ice cream available in your town and then one day you went on holiday and there was chocolate ice cream. Despite your love for vanilla ice cream you tried the chocolate ice cream only to find out you like it even more!
Well since there is only vanilla ice cream in your town you will have to settle for vanilla. If however the option of having chocolate ice cream did become available in your town then it would be goodbye vanilla!
This is not about race, just about experiencing something different. Let’s say you were in a relationship at school but then went to University in a different city or country and met some great new people. Your views and values on life would surely change. It would be near impossible for you to be happy in your old relationship. The couples from my school who are still together (for approx 10 years now!!) are still together because they never spent any time apart.
What to take away from this:
Proximity is power in relationships. It’s important to be physically near someone to develop a relationship with them. You can be as charming and funny as you like but if you live so far away that the relationship becomes inconvenient then you don’t stand a chance. The greater the physical distance the more cracks that will be created in the relationship.